Literacy, Week Seven: LaMott quote.

I don't think you have time to waste not writing because you are afraid you won't be good enough at it, and I don't think you have time to waste on someone who does not respond to you with kindness and respect.  You don't want to spend your time around people who make you hold your breath.
~LaMott, 170.

I think this chapter and quote really spoke to me in two ways, and it's not just applicable to writing or literacy, but to my whole world-view.

First, why do I waste so much time telling myself something isn't going to work because I do not think I am good enough, smart enough, capable enough or talented enough?  All that wasted time that could have been spent creating, exploring, working, or improving instead of worrying, stressing or stalling!

An example that happened the other day:  My sister is an extremely talented artist, and so I sat down to play with some watercolors as she worked on a commission.  Initially, I didn't even want to start because I felt I would disappoint myself by creating something that looked amatuer, or fake-- never mind being embarrassed in front of my talented little sister!  I began to simply play with the watercolors as my sister sat beside me--she creating a gorgeous replication of a vase of flowers, myself creating a simple heart with color gradiation--and I stopped and sighed.  "This looks so ridiculous," I said.  My sister looked at me, squinted her eyes, and said, "Steph, knock it off.  It's art.  Stop being a self-doubting artist."  I guess that kind of opened my eyes a little--I don't need to be good at something to thoroughly enjoy it, nor do I need to be accomplished to begin something.  Just go, stop wasting time and try it, do it, enjoy it.  And if you don't enjoy it, then stop!

It also reminds me of the chorus to one of my favorite Alanis Morrisette songs, entitled "So Unsexy:"

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful

So unloved for someone so fine

I can feel so boring for someone so interesting

So ignorant for someone of sound mind. 

Secondly, the LaMott passage spoke to me because of the value of constructive criticism.  A trusted person with honest and supportive feedback and criticism is vital and so valuable to improving and growing in one's work-- whether that work is in teaching, painting, writing or construction.  On the flip side, someone who criticizes your work in order to tear you down or make you feel small is not a valuable resource and isn't worth wasting your time on.

I feel my master teacher really does a wonderful job of providing constructive criticism as well as positive feedback.  She considers observations a chance to really improve her practice as an educator, and if she doesn't receive any constructive criticism, then she is disappointed and feels it's a waste of the observers time.  She craves that chance to improve her practice or try something new-- she never wastes her time, and that is something I would like to strive for as an educator.