Well, I had my first experience with a sub in my main placement yesterday. I go back to WM on Fridays just to keep in touch with the kiddos, and let them know how much I enjoy them. I knew my MT would be gone on vacation, so when I arrived at lunch time, I saw the kids standing in line for lunch first. I think it was Q or T that saw me first, and their little faces just kind of lit right up! It was such a heart-warming moment when the word that, "Ms. Martin is here, Ms. Martin is here" spread down the line like wildfire and all the kids said hello so excitedly. It feels very good to know that these kids really do like me as a person.
Anyway, the kids got their lunches and we were all chit-chatting about the latest and greatest in our lives. They wanted to know when I would be back, where was I when I wasn't there, etc. They wanted to tell me about their Halloween costumes, the trips they would be taking, and the coloring they had been working on that morning. Then the sub read a story to them during lunch and it was one of the worst read-alouds I have ever heard. Boring, flat, lots of pauses and she kept forgetting to show the pictures on docu-cam!
After lunch recess, the kids came in and sat down for math. I was by the blue table group where my dear Mr. A sits (Mr. A is the kiddo that constantly challenged me [I would say up, he would say down] during September, but I had an "a-ha!" moment with him the last time I visited my main placement). Anyway, the sub came over and I was telling her (in front of the kids) how much I enjoyed this class and all the wonderful kids in it, and she laughs and jokes, "Well, except this kid. He's trouble!" and she points to... Mr. A.
I cringed inside: of all kids, she points to him, who happens to be a kid that gets into some mischievous stuff in school and does have a rambunctious side to him. As she said that, I saw such confusion darken his beautiful green-brown-hazel eyes. I could see the wheels turning in his head as he thought along the lines of, "What did I do? I'm a bad kid? She doesn't like me?!?" The fact is, in first grade you can NOT joke like that with the kids. They take it seriously, personally, and they take it hard. Third grade, maaaaaybe you can say those jokes. But first grade? Not at all.
I will fully admit that in that moment I did not know what to do, so I kind of smiled and nervously laughed, and the conversation moved on to a disastrous math lesson using money (oh my goodness, classroom management skills were non-existent for this sub. Example of a particularly cringe-worthy exchange: Sub: "Okay, fine- if we can't listen to the math lesson, we'll just sit here and do nothing." Cue many of the kids: "OK!" "Awesome!" "Yesss!" Oh dear- that was a bad move, Mrs. Sub!).
Afterward, one of the adult classroom helpers pulled me aside and said that Mr. A had asked her if, "he was a bad kid," obviously because of what the sub had said. It just about broke my heart. I knew, I just knew the moment that sub said that, that Mr. A was going to take what the sub said personally. So, when all the kids came back in the room, I asked Mr. A if he would step outside with me (in a very cheerful voice so that he knew he wasn't in trouble). We got out into a private area, and I asked him if he was doing okay. He said he was, and so I just took the reigns, dove right into the issue and said:
"You know, sometimes grown-ups make bad jokes. I want to make sure you know that Mrs. T was trying to play around with you when she said that you were a 'bad kid.' Sometimes people try to make friends by joking around with them, and what she said was a joke that just wasn't funny. But I want you to know that I know you are a wonderful, smart and great kid. I know that Ms. McN and I are very happy you are a part of this classroom, and we think you are a fantastic kid-- not even close to a bad kid! In fact, A- did you know you are a highlight of my day when I come to visit this class?"
He looked quizzical, so I said, "Do you know what a highlight is?"
"No..."
"When I say you are a highlight of my day, it means that you are one of the very best parts of my day!"
His face, that sweet little face just lit up! I can't even put it into adequate words-- those astounding eyes just kind of lit up, he stood a little straighter, and I could just tell that the damper the sub's "joke" had put on him was shrugged off.
Looking back, I should have nipped that comment in the bud. I was afraid of stepping on the sub's toes, or making her feel awkward, when what I should have been worried about was the fact that I KNOW Mr. A, and I knew how he would take that "joke." And sure enough, that was the case. I should have been worried about Mr. A, and his feelings. Reflecting back, I should have been the one to keep that safe environment Ms. McN created for the class, and I should have shut that bad joke down with something like, "No way- A isn't a bad kid-- there's not one trouble-maker in this fabulous class!" I learned a lesson, though. I'm just sorry it had to come at A's expense.
When it was time to leave, I told all the kiddos how happy I was to see them all, and that I was looking forward to next Friday. Mr. A raised his hand and asked, "When do you come back forever?"
That, my friends, is the best thing a wanna-be teacher could ever hear.
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Anyway, the kids got their lunches and we were all chit-chatting about the latest and greatest in our lives. They wanted to know when I would be back, where was I when I wasn't there, etc. They wanted to tell me about their Halloween costumes, the trips they would be taking, and the coloring they had been working on that morning. Then the sub read a story to them during lunch and it was one of the worst read-alouds I have ever heard. Boring, flat, lots of pauses and she kept forgetting to show the pictures on docu-cam!
After lunch recess, the kids came in and sat down for math. I was by the blue table group where my dear Mr. A sits (Mr. A is the kiddo that constantly challenged me [I would say up, he would say down] during September, but I had an "a-ha!" moment with him the last time I visited my main placement). Anyway, the sub came over and I was telling her (in front of the kids) how much I enjoyed this class and all the wonderful kids in it, and she laughs and jokes, "Well, except this kid. He's trouble!" and she points to... Mr. A.
I cringed inside: of all kids, she points to him, who happens to be a kid that gets into some mischievous stuff in school and does have a rambunctious side to him. As she said that, I saw such confusion darken his beautiful green-brown-hazel eyes. I could see the wheels turning in his head as he thought along the lines of, "What did I do? I'm a bad kid? She doesn't like me?!?" The fact is, in first grade you can NOT joke like that with the kids. They take it seriously, personally, and they take it hard. Third grade, maaaaaybe you can say those jokes. But first grade? Not at all.
I will fully admit that in that moment I did not know what to do, so I kind of smiled and nervously laughed, and the conversation moved on to a disastrous math lesson using money (oh my goodness, classroom management skills were non-existent for this sub. Example of a particularly cringe-worthy exchange: Sub: "Okay, fine- if we can't listen to the math lesson, we'll just sit here and do nothing." Cue many of the kids: "OK!" "Awesome!" "Yesss!" Oh dear- that was a bad move, Mrs. Sub!).
Afterward, one of the adult classroom helpers pulled me aside and said that Mr. A had asked her if, "he was a bad kid," obviously because of what the sub had said. It just about broke my heart. I knew, I just knew the moment that sub said that, that Mr. A was going to take what the sub said personally. So, when all the kids came back in the room, I asked Mr. A if he would step outside with me (in a very cheerful voice so that he knew he wasn't in trouble). We got out into a private area, and I asked him if he was doing okay. He said he was, and so I just took the reigns, dove right into the issue and said:
"You know, sometimes grown-ups make bad jokes. I want to make sure you know that Mrs. T was trying to play around with you when she said that you were a 'bad kid.' Sometimes people try to make friends by joking around with them, and what she said was a joke that just wasn't funny. But I want you to know that I know you are a wonderful, smart and great kid. I know that Ms. McN and I are very happy you are a part of this classroom, and we think you are a fantastic kid-- not even close to a bad kid! In fact, A- did you know you are a highlight of my day when I come to visit this class?"
He looked quizzical, so I said, "Do you know what a highlight is?"
"No..."
"When I say you are a highlight of my day, it means that you are one of the very best parts of my day!"
His face, that sweet little face just lit up! I can't even put it into adequate words-- those astounding eyes just kind of lit up, he stood a little straighter, and I could just tell that the damper the sub's "joke" had put on him was shrugged off.
Looking back, I should have nipped that comment in the bud. I was afraid of stepping on the sub's toes, or making her feel awkward, when what I should have been worried about was the fact that I KNOW Mr. A, and I knew how he would take that "joke." And sure enough, that was the case. I should have been worried about Mr. A, and his feelings. Reflecting back, I should have been the one to keep that safe environment Ms. McN created for the class, and I should have shut that bad joke down with something like, "No way- A isn't a bad kid-- there's not one trouble-maker in this fabulous class!" I learned a lesson, though. I'm just sorry it had to come at A's expense.
When it was time to leave, I told all the kiddos how happy I was to see them all, and that I was looking forward to next Friday. Mr. A raised his hand and asked, "When do you come back forever?"
That, my friends, is the best thing a wanna-be teacher could ever hear.
